Uncharted Futures

I have decided not to update this blog anymore. Meanwhile please refer to my latest, independently hosted blog with a new domain, by clicking here

Is this it? Is this finally it? My pc finally failed on me. After 2 years, perfect timing. Just when i needed the pc even more now, it decided to work against me. I should have contemplated about getting a mac after this has run its end. Ah man, looks like my house is jinxed when it comes to electrical appliances. As a rule:

Never talk about getting a new appliance/electronic item, or the current one are bound to fail soon after.

Sounds crazy i know, but it happened alot of times now. Its almost like bad luck to badmouth a non living item. Getting a new mac is out of the question now. Im terribly short on cash. Though i can support myself quite comfortably with what i have right now, but it would take a long time  save up the money to get a new one. In the meantime im trying to find a way to fix the current one. All my songs and stuff are all inside! If i ever gonna save those things to the a new computer, i need an external Hard Disk first.

School has started in full swing and it has been a rough ride for me. I think im doing ok right now, just need to be a little more hardworking. Its difficult to actually get into the routine of revision, studying, and ultimately mugging. The past 2 years of NS life had made me a little more sedentary, a little more passive. It should be the other way round, but as they say, 2 years of not using your brain can really make your intellect a little blunt.

Ever since going to NTU, life has been a little different. Its not so different to Poly life, but the differences are there. The long lectures, the short tutorials and the blazingly fast pace at which lessons are taught, forcing you to comprehend and master the topic being taught within the week. And before you know it, another week arrives and it starts all over again. The lessons are heavy and deep, definitely a big level up from the poly curriculum, maybe several levels up.

What fascinates me is that you get to see all sorts of people and sometimes you happen to stumble upon primary school friends, secondary school friends and even poly mates in the same course but never had a chance to talk to them back then. I can still recognize some of them and its amazing that the people you have never met in so long could be in the same faculty as i am in. Though i highly doubt that they would recognize me.

Its nice to see quite a number of poly classmates around in the school. Makes it less alien. I only need to get acquainted with them and so far i have done to a few. Im slowly widening my circle of friends and no doubt life would be so much better in the coming months.

I finally got my iphone after a near month wait. Its great and im loving it. I can surf the net, get info on the go, wiki, facebook, read news, shop ( if i have the patient of keying my credit card number while on the train, and there is the security issue too.) I feel so connected with the iphone. With the 3G plan i can basically surf anywhere. I just cannot imagine losing the phone or not bringing it anywhere with me. A detachment from technology is highly disturbing indeed. Its like a weak form of the matrix, where you are so technologically dependent. I think we are starting to enter into an era where without internet and connective 24/7 whereever we go, we feel a sense of loss and disorientation.

I feel like to getting an apple computer soon. The softwares that i have seen, iLife and iWorks are simply amazing. Such rich content in which you can create with ease is nothing short of spectacular. Im thinking of getting it next year. Im on a tight budget and space constraint, so i might go for a mac mini. Maybe they would have new mac minis in the futures, with better specifications? Who knows? The upcoming apple keynote speech this september would certainly bring some surprises to the media and the consumers. We just have to wait and see. Im getting used to the interface of Apple. Now i just need to go deeper into the whole OS thingy and see how the Mac ticks. Ive had enough of the pc, giving me problems every now and then. The stability of which Apple is built upon is the key decisor in my next computer purchase. Im getting tired to doing DIYs and failing within the year, and its costly too if you really consider the fringe costs that are associated with DIY.

So here i am now again, at a crossroads, where the path i walk, will be the path that i will take. Most like i would never be able to turn back and try on a different path. But here comes a problem. Its begining to get difficult to see where im going, and im hesitating, still stuck at the crossroads, not knowing what to do, not know which path to take.

It used to be so much easier. Your aspirations, your passions, following what your heart says and staying true to it. Previously i have done that, and i have reach where im supposed to reach. So straightforward. Like Dorothy walking on a yellow brick road. But as it progressed, and new avenues are open. The paths get darker and dimmer… less obvious. And now the path ahead of me, is barely a path, going into a jungle of uncertainty, where i have to carve my own path, if its the correct direction that im going to in the first place.

This is i think the first time ever that im truly having a lot of doubt to where im truly going. To whether this is my true calling. To not able to see, and imagine what life would be like 4 to 5 years from now. I dont have a map, i dont have a direction to follow. Im hesitant to blaze my own path.

Blogging can be so last year, and it takes time and effort to do a proper writeup. Those of you who follows my blog would probably know by now that i can sometimes not have any major updates for weeks at a time.

So now you can follow me on twitter. The twitter widget is at the bottom of the side panel. Any updates will be reflected over there. I plan to tweet little updates on what im doing now in NTU, maybe the things i learn for the day, or stuff im doing at that moment in time.

I plan to tweet on my iphone, but im still on the waiting list, waiting for Singtel to notify me on the availability. Im hoping i could get at the end of this month, so that it could really help me organise and manage my time properly. Its gonna be hectic in NTU, im feeling the pressure when i look at the some of the modules’ content. How i wish  i could remember everything i learn from Poly. It would be such a great help right now. I have to start learning the basics all over again (‘ala Physcial Chemistry) and on top of additional content to be taught in class. Tweeting would be the perfect solution to broadcast little updates about me.

Stay tune.

Ok im back im back.

Its been a hefty 3 weeks or so. The transition from military life to civilian life aint an easy one, especially when a new phase of your life is just looming ahead of you. Yes thats right, its my start of a university life. Ive been waiting for a while now and im pretty excited about it. I mean i know its gonna be tough, challenges that ive never encountered before. Speed bumps in my life are gonna come my way sooner or later. But nonetheless im still going all out to make my 4 year experience a memorable one.

In the last days in NS, i had to handover all my tasks and appointment to my understudy. I had to say my goodbyes to a lot of people, some of which are very good friends indeed. Ill definitely miss them alot. Ill definitely in some ways miss the life there in Jurong Camp. I  hope the best in everyone over at that camp.

And within a week, BAM! School is about to start. I need to thank Joash and Jamie for msning me on the 4 of Aug, asking me which tutorial group im in. If not for that, i would have remained clueless and missed my chance in confirming my matriculation into NTU. 4 of Aug happened to be my last day in Camp and also the last day for the online matriculation submission in the NTU’s website. It would have completely missed the boat if not for those 2. Thank you!!

On the day of the freshmen ceremony, i met a number of familiar faces. Apart from Joash, Jamie, Shiming and Chiong Jin, Lizhen paid a visit, which was nice and a few others, current senior students in NTU who were once our Juniors in NYP! I was introduced to Shiming and Jamies orientation group and i must say they are a bunch of nice people. Really nice. The ceremony was great, the feeling of being reunited with Joash, Jamie and Shiming was ecstatic. We reminisce about the past in NYP and how life in NTU is a stark reminders to the good old past, which i still treasure thank you very much. Oh how i wish Eng Pau and hock, ben, cher, and dee could be in NTU as well. Life on campus would truly be a blast! It would be like going through Poly all over again. The stress, the projects, the assignments, mugging in the library, hanging out after school.

But one week till the start of the semester is too short for me. Im not truly prepared emotionally and mentally. The new academic system is a lot to handle and i was quite overwhelmed. But i think in getting the hang of it. The choosing of electives and adding and dropping of modules was confusing at first,  but i understood the sytem somehow already. Looking at the big picture, its kinda interesting to be given the freedom to craft your own timetable based on the modules your have registered. You are completely independent now. I like the feeling, but i have some trepidations about it as well. I still dont know alot of people among the 200 strong contingent taking the same course as me. And given the flexibility of the schedule, i doubt it would be like in poly anymore, where you go through stuff as a class all the way through from the 1st year to the 4th year. It would be a greater challenge for me in this area because of the number of friends i have to make in such a short time. But im sure ill figure it out.

Next week is the real thing. Life in university starts now. It has begun….

Ive been getting a little emo lately. Partly because in less than a month’s time, everything will change. I will ord and then i will miss some of my friends. And then there is school. Going back to school must be a tough transition for me, since i have little time to adapt to me new lifestyle and i havent been trying to get mentally prepared for this.

Lately ive been listening to this particular song by Nickelback, entitled “If Today Was Your Last Day”

I love this song a lot recently. Its lyrics are beautiful and meaningful and relates to me in a lot of ways. Relates to my life, how i live it, and what im doing with it. Facing with a lot of questions that i rarely ask myself, like, ‘ If  today is my last day, what would i do?’. And with this mentally i have everyday, imagine the possibilities i can do with my life as i live through it everyday. Each day is a gift, not a given right. We should live it to the fullest, throw my fears away and just do my best in everything you do, because there is no second chance in every second you waste. Its such and inspirational song.

Just listen to it here.

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you’re dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
‘Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you’re dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?

I’ve noticed that im starting to live a sedentary lifestyle. Every weekend, im just not that active anymore. All i want is to stay at home and just surf the net or watch my tv or movies that i downloaded. No longer do i go out and have fun at the beach, or the outdoors or anywhere else. Its becoming a habit that i wish not to adopt.

I dunno why, but i feel very sluggish during the weekend. Despite the fact that i slug it out during the weekdays, doing my work intently. Weekdays can be hell. Its packed full of stuff to do, and my work is never ending. That could probably the reason why i feel so sluggish and lazy at the end of the week. Perhaps the need to be alone sometimes after dealing with so many people during the weekdays. Sucky feeling, i hate it.

I just feel like dont have th energy to sustain during the weekend to do the things i like to do, and this lazy and nonchalant attitude is pissing me off. My course starts in a month’s time and i need to tell myself to be active and to do things that i have not done before. To seize the opportunity to try out new stuff, take on challenges and truly live life to the fullest like never before. TO CHANGE MY LIFE. I cant let my 4 years go down the drain. I cant just concentrate on my studies alone. Ill go mad! I need to go out more often, i really do!

RAWR!